Pakistan

We all have near and dear ones from amongst our friends and family who live in other cities or countries and we have to receive or see them off in person just like we are received or bid farewell away from our hometowns. Similarly, in certain cases, we have our office bosses, peers and subordinates, or business partners or political or diplomatic friends or foes to receive or see off. Also, receiving and seeing off is, at times related, to certain occasions of joy or sorrow. Depending upon the degree of relationship and things at stake, time permitting, we make efforts to receive and see off our near and dear ones in person. There are some for whom whether we have time or not and whether we like it or not we have to steal time to receive or bid farewell. There are others with whom our emotional involvement is so much that we make it a point to receive or see them off in person right till the entry/exit point. Place to receive or see off also varies. It may be our home, office or entry/exit point to our city like a bus stop, railway station or and airport. Choice of the place is often directly to related to, besides the degree of convenience, the degree of relationship or importance we accord to our guests or near and dear ones.

Every time I go to the airport, I observe varying kinds of receptions and farewells being accorded to different people. I see people receiving or seeing off their near and dear ones with tears of joy or sorrow in their eyes. There are others whom I see dropping the guests and saying good bye there and then and leaving the airport with no expression of emotions of any kind. There are people who remain at the airport right till the time plane takes off. I see them gazing at the plane as if they did not want the person(s) in the plane to part with them, thus, trying to remain attached with them until the last possible moment. Similarly, I see people reaching the airport well before time to receive the guests, near and dear ones counting every minute impatiently. There are others who reach just in time or even late by a few minutes to receive the guests, near and dear ones.

I find airports, and by the same analogy other entry and exit points like bus stations and railway stations, places where expression of emotions is at its best in terms of joy, sorrow, love, liking, disliking and hate. However, the latter two negative expressions are less visible than the other positive expressions. I wish we could live with each other as per the emotions displayed by us while receiving or seeing off our near and dear ones. But, this happens very seldom.

Anger is one of the attributes of all human beings. Not only that, it is also one of the attributes of animals. No human being can ever claim that he or she has spent all of his or her life without getting angry with or over someone or something. Losing temper is a negative quality which every sane human being will like to do away with. However, it is not that simple to exercise control over one's anger or temperament what to talk of doing away with it altogether. All of us ,over a period of time, develop certain likes and dislikes. Besides that there are certain universally accepted codes of conduct prevalent in a family, society or place of work. Once we find others doing things against our personal likes or the universally accepted code of conduct in a way that it has a direct or indirect bearing on our state of mind, we tend to get angry.

Although the intensity of anger and its frequency may vary from one to the other, getting angry is, perhaps, something normal with all human beings. But the important thing here is as to how we realize this anger. Simply speaking, one should realize one's anger over the person who has been the cause of making you angry. However, it does not always happen that way. A person gets angry with one's better half or any of the other family members just before leaving for office. The anger so generated gets realized in the place of work, more often on the subordinates. Similarly, a persons gets admonishment from the boss in place of work realizes the anger either on the subordinates or back home on the family members. So, more often than not, anger caused by one is realized over the other, the one who is not at fault, done nothing wrong and is innocent. This is how we tend to spoil our social relations. Realization of our anger is misdirected. It does not imply that anger must be realized over the person who causes it. The wisdom demands that we should develop good temperament and that we should be able to control our anger not having to realize it on anyone.

Will you like to share real life stories of misdirected anger?